My Beloved RLE. Thesis Meeting. At The Medicine Pavilion. UST.
In my 20 years of existence, if there were a thing that I have never brought into full consummation, it would be my painful and tortuous attempt on reconciling my personal and professional life. Everything in me is bipolar, dichotomous, and to a certain point asynchronous up to the degree that I’m often misconstrued as a psychopath afflicted with a Dissociative Personality Disorder (aka Multiple Personality Disorder) with psychotic features. In fact, with my instigation of this noveau chronicle comes another paradox—that I have kept another journal where my deepest personal secrets are disclosed and I remained as the ever-anonymous writer only known by some of my closest friends. This is my attempt to unveil the shadows that shroud my personal life and to uncover the darkness of my existence from the misconceptions of the bygone.
RLE 1 with Sir Earl at Barangay Malitlit, Lipa City, Batangas.
Graduating with honors is one of the greatest accomplishments in this unbearable existence of mine. This, and the fact that I have chosen the perfect course (as to my personal opinion) never fails to make me truly contented and equally elated. Nursing is painful, and is no little work. When I was younger I have the penchant and the liking of watching shows where medical actions and dramas are portrayed in epic proportions. I couldn’t help but notice how the doctors (interns, consultants, surgeons, etc.) are the existential protagonists and nurses are often ill-portrayed as annoying, helper-like, useless, and sometimes incompetent assistants. I have the wanting of being a doctor then—me saving lives, blah blahs and so on will satisfy the superiority complex I believe that was instilled in me. So I’ve decided to enter the BSN course as a tempestuous attempt to thrust my future medical career.
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Come 4 years thereafter, my years in and out of hospital duties, community exposures, occupational nursing visits, trips to rural health units in and out of the city, and shifting rotations to special hospital wards (ICU, OR, DR, Kidney Units, etc.) or hospital affiliations (Lazaro, Ortho, TMC, etc.) became my *LIFE* for the past three years. Watching a patient with rabies die, observing parasites in copula, demonstrating how to operate a skeletal traction, scrubbing 8-hours straight in a cranioplasty procedure, delivering a baby with congenital anomalies (CLP, gastroschisis, among others), are but FEW of the HIGHLIGHTS that enlivens my nursing shifts, aside from the usual VS q4, SS PRN, TTS q2, CPT PRN and the endorsements that have become basic hospital routines.
With Ms. Tionko, ECG Seminar, 2006
Hospital life is not all that bad. In fact, an 8-hour hospital shift is enough to open one’s mind to the life lessons waiting to be found in a patient’s room, or in the nurse’s station if you are much more observant and lucky. In fact, it is during my cramped-up duty hours that I get to work efficiently and I was able to function better. I developed the liking of eating hospital foods and realizing that I can shed a few pounds if I stick on this kind of diet. I started associating myself to certain characters in the medical shows I subscribe to (Scrubs, ER, House M.D., Medical Investigations, and recently, Grey’s Anatomy). Watching Discovery Channel, NatGeo, etc. seems to become too familiar and extremely amazing. Reading medical bulletins, journals, and updates turns out to be a very satisfying experience, and the Allied Health Science Library (Med. Lib.) becomes a very inviting and appealing place.
The Best of Times With The Best of Peers. At Calaruega, Nasugbu, Batangas. Retreat '06.
In between juggling duties and lectures are my attempts to incorporate my existence in the real life I chose to pursue. I still had night-outs, but in fewer, lesser episodes; had some (plenty of?) trips to Gateway, Glorietta, and SM to provide a breather to my neurotic life; had extra-curricular activities squeezed in in few fleeting moments; and had my “15-second” moments of fame on several occasions. Thence I realize this “nursing” profession must be a very fitting calling to my extroverted, aggressive personality.
Nursing Life's Not That Bad. Birthday Celebration of Me, Wilette, Joyce and Rowena. At Congo Grille, SM San Lazaro.
My perspective on nursing as my pre-med course drifts into nonexistence as my vision turns into graduating with the future degree of “B.S.N., R.N., M.A.N.” NURSING IS A VERY NOBLE PROFESSION IF ONLY YOU COULD SEE THROUGH IT CLEARLY. If people (or patients) consider their doctors as their personal heroes, why can’t they attribute the same level of respect to nurses alike? We tend to patients round the clock, we provide them with the utmost level of comfort through our individualized care, and we demand no professional fees, and it seems as if we really deserve the infamous title “OVERWORKED AND WAY WAY UNDERPAID.” No angst implied, I guess that’s just the way things are, and we just have to deal with it.
Real Happiness. With Peers. Thesis Meeting. At Gelo's and Vernon's Apartment.
On my response during the Recognition Day where I was asked with the proverbial question: “What have you learned in Nursing School?” The answer to the question is plain and simple: “It is in nursing that I have grown, matured, and developed into the near-perfect person I once only dreamt of and I never knew I was capable of becoming. I have learnt to cherish and to appreciate life better, to celebrate the gift of existence, and to discover lessons in every failure I had. I have learned that life entails sacrifices—and may it be for your future, for your family, or for your personal worth, if you can glimpse at the fruits of your labor, then you will realize that everything’s worth it, and you never really sacrificed at all.”
How Can One Define Real Contentment? Being Surrounded By Wonderful Blessings (and Finishing the Thesis at San Lazaro Hospital) is A Reason Enough to Celebrate.
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If it is in this field that I can find fulfillment, gratification, and contentment in this short life of mine, I’m more than willing to be an overworked nurse for the rest of my fleeting, ephemeral, but fabulous life.
With the Most Talented, Remarkable and Humble People at the College of Nursing -- My Pautakan Family. Recognition Day 2006, Right After My Address of Thanks.
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-Ruff.
